Reflective letter

REFLECTIVE ESSAY
-------This is my saving grace, a letter in which I wish to redeem myself of my biggest dilemma within my writing past. In my papers, such as my first and second essay which you’ll be able to reread in this portfolio, I struggled with my voice, flow of the sentences and the occasional grammar mess up. It wasn’t the thought process but the transfer onto paper, Craig even told me I should record my thoughts as I thought, then write it word for word . I would specify the transfer of thought to paper as a flailing fall into a pull of doubt and insecurity, and for who knows why with my thoughts well developed and organized. Being put in this program was unexplainable; the process impacted me in several different ways. There was the trial process, the results, the post stress combined with finding a solution, and now the solutions.
-------When faced with our first writing assignment there was so much to comprehend, “They say, I say” with the templates, and the placement of my voice throughout the paper. It was a way of writing that seemed almost opposite than what I had been taught. We did the research process backwards. My past assignment seemed like nothing compared to what they were asking. Stress played a big part on hindering my writing. I met with Craig a few times who would help me get back on track, calm me down so I could focus.
-------We both quickly realized I like to overdress my writing with pointless phrases and explanations, we caught that fast and it decreased a good amount as time went on. If you read the intro of my first essay you will so no mention of the beginning of time or any other horrible references, Craig will be very proud. For me this first essay was one of those feelings where wrong is right and right is wrong and you see absolutely no black and white. Like everything was black until Craig stated other wise, which means I felt like I was just messing up at every turn, because what I thought was right, was found to wrong. With lots of time with Craig to work through things, I was able to pass the first essay with a 79% from Craig, which I viewed as reasonable. With my main flaw remaining in my vague word choice, and the word choice that seemed to essay and not enough of my voice.
-------A good example would be “the “papers” being referred to in this quote are Nathaniel Bacon’s personal documents and writings. This excerpt is an overview of the writing themselves done by Diarmaid MacCulloch. The quote continues talking about changes Bacon yearned for in his home town of Stiffkey, of course most changes going against the powers that be.”(1st essay 5th paragraph) It sounds like a non personal response, a response yes but not much of my voice, my thought and view is shown, it may be there but its not obvious. I had worked hard; it wasn’t perfect, that I knew, but I had seen my faults and thought I realized what I need to work on. This experience gave me confidence, and maybe I was stupid to feel so sure about myself at least that’s what the second essay proved.
-------For the second essay, the time and process flew by me. I was given an essay with a subject to be a loyalist from the New Jersey, and I started it with confidence. My stress level was peaking, which couldn’t of been good and I think my brain might of somewhere shut down along the way. My grammar was poor, words had been skipped, and I was not descriptive enough and too descriptive at other points. A line I was still obviously struggling with. And organization wise, it was easily classified as a mess. The grade on this paper was much lower, and at the time of writing it, I felt I did good , felt my voice was better represented. Although,I think I let my self slack in other areas and the worse part being that I didn’t notice. I let the stress get to me and it showed. That was a big lesson in its own.
--------Getting my edited papers back, my biggest concern was my flow and wording. I wanted to make sure things made sense and were placed in the correct area. For example, for the New Jersey essay, my second essay, I went through took out through whole paragraphs, rearrange whole sections and re worded a bit. For example in my turned in final in the first intro paragraph I had a section “My view is that a common belief of the patriots is that the loyalists are in it for the money, or even view us as cowards, giving up and retreating to the supposed strongest power. Truth be told yes, benefits are relevant as would be by choosing any side, this I do not deny, but we still have much to lose in the same.” This completely did not belong, it was pointless and random, this could be in a fallowing point paragraph but to be in the intro it did not fit. This being so, I completely took it out. Other major organizational edits similar to that were done on essay 2 to improve it.
-------Now, in this reflective letter which I hope is easily understood and well flowed, I’m wishing to represent my writing at a proficient peak. I see stress as my biggest issue, it’s the same in my drill routines where I can work on a routine for five hour straight and get no where, done it numerous times. It’s something that I wish I had a chance to redeem myself for and I hope I will on our final, which is in this portfolio. This writing experience has opened my eyes, showed me a real way of writing, one that I’m still adapting to but one I can respect and call real. My struggles are with my stress, and my voice but I feel confident that this is getting better and it’s something I can improve. I’ve learned to recognize my faults and some were easier to fix, some not so much but all have a solution.